How To Remember You're Not Alone, Even when it Really Feels Like You Are
By Charlene Lazewski, for Untangled Self Development Book Club
"We have to truly let go of trying to appeal to every person imaginable in an effort to come home to ourselves."
Book: This Is How You Heal
Author: Brianna Wiest
Discussion on: Essay - “How To Remember You’re Not Alone, Even When It Really Feels Like You Are”
This essay resonated with me on a whole new level, and I KNOW it would resonate with you a lot as well! It talks about how we have basically lost our ability to be OKAY with aloneness due to the fact we now live in a society that is obsessed and run through hyper connectivity - social media, tech, apps, etc. This has also shuffled how we define “aloneness” and “loneliness”. They are TWO very distinct concepts, but because we have all been so consumed with hyper connectivity, we have meshed both to be about complete solitude and lack of support.
Brianna pulls us apart from the world of unfruitful connection through this essay, and opens our eyes to see just how precious and constructive aloneness is, and understand what it really means. It’s a gift the universe gives to us in order to reflect, recalibrate, and walk with a regeneration of clarity and grounding peace.
“You know it is only ever in solitude that we extract the most important truths about our lives. Without the expectations of others around us, we get to see who we most essentially are.
It is not aloneness that gives you that pinching and panicked feeling.
It’s loneliness ——which sounds the same, but is actually different.”
We have confused aloneness to be the same as loneliness because it’s the prime mental state we find ourselves in, with the over consumption of social media. From constant scrolling to get the latest on the lives of people that don’t even know you, to the comparison marathon you go on with every Reel, post, or Story you see. Needless to say, people are indulging on one of the most toxic daily activities —— it’s no shock there are so many individuals suffering from mental health issues, especially depression and loneliness.
People need to step away from the present day socializing norms, and tune into themselves, their lives, their authenticity. And ALONENESS is the most essential vehicle to reach that liberating destination.
“We feel most alone when we are strangers to ourselves, and in a world where everyone is watching, we are more pieces of what they would want us to be then the whole of what we want to become.”
People are so preoccupied living for their social media persona, that they’re losing themselves faster each day in the process. When they see themselves in aloneness they are quick to fill that void with posting either a slightly or completely false post on social media to feed their ego, while starving their soul. When really, that aloneness is given to us so we get time to sit, reflect, sort things out emotionally and mentally, and sync up with our true selves. It’s in this process, we bring life to our wholeness, raise our frequencies, and make space for our manifestations to become realities. Aloneness is the digestion phase of our existence, not a punishment. But, with all this noise in the world, many people have forgotten how to decipher the true significance of aloneness in life.
I leave you with this final quote from Brianna’s essay, where she unveils what aloneness truly is:
“Try to find love in the fact that maybe you’re being given an opportunity to be introduced to yourself so that you might be able to introduce that persona to someone else.
And maybe that was the piece that was missing all along.”
